I Miss You

30th July 2017

Sunday

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Its been 4 years. And yet today on a Sunday night when I was watching Castle (TV Series) binge on YouTube the first thing on my mind was you.

You taught me, more about myself, than I thought there was to learn. 

If it wasn't for you I would have never even tried to mend the faults in my personality that were the main causes of us spending each of the passing day apart but after four years of all of that I miss you. I miss that the only reason I used to go to bed was so that when I wake up I could call you and wish you good morning. I miss the nights where we wold talk every possible shit. I miss having someone for whom I didn't have to change settings under the Privacy head. I miss having a friend who didn't judge me no matter what.

I miss you. And each day that I have to look you in the eyes and pretend that I don't give a damn about you is so hard that to balance that amount of rudeness during the day I have spend tears repenting it at the night. 

You easily say that its you who is careless and worthless of my friendship but its very hard to see you behave so politely with everyone but me. Its almost trashing to not even bother about my last birthday with you but yet seeing you so excited almost two weeks before a mutual friend's birthday.

But you know what, I know you aren't going to read this and nothing I say even bothers you enough that you give it a millisecond thought but I had, I have and I will always care for you no matter what. Maybe I ain't deserving of your friendship but I can live with the guilt that I could never be a good and trustworthy friends to you but I can't live with the fact that you can't  even fake that you care for me. So as of today, I officially rid myself off your life. 

Aditi Tiwari

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© Aditi Tiwari 2017. All Rights Reserved. DBA™ 

Trust

But like always this is also going to be an anonymous post. 

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22nd July 2017

Saturday

A Saturday and you were not there. Physically. Because the 12th yet, you haven't left my mind since. But its definitely hard to not see you there in front of me. Though our friendship never saw the 

bright sunshine because each we hope for a twilight we face a breaking dawn. and so was the last month. Its time that we talked.

 Talked. We speak with n-number of people daily. But we talk to only the ones we trust. Well trust is the chief fault in my personality. I give it often and gain it randomly but lose it daily. Trust issues are an additional bonus if you be friends with someone called Aditi Tiwari. But I never violated or breached trust. 

Speaking about something important to someone to a third person should not always count as a violation of trust. Maybe I trusted the third person. That's my bad that I never understand people. The problem is I never judge a person on hearsay and looks. Maybe I should. Because these days people are exactly how they look. Mean and Selfish.

But why do we let people in between us? Why always we give a third person the right into our friendship? Why can't it just be me and you? You call me your best friend? I am not. Because best friends sort their matters themselves. The don't publicly insult each other. And above all they

trust each other.  

I trust you. I hate you, do you hate me too?

 Aditi Tiwari

11.17 PM 

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© Aditi Tiwari 2017. All Rights Reserved. DBA™