#1

I don't know if you can get jet lagged without changing time zones but I definitely was. I had a late night flight from Mumbai to Bangalore yesterday and for some reason that escapes me I decided to take the bus home. My back has forgotten the time when it didn't pain. But luckily I am a corporate slave which means no matter what happens, if I was on WFH for an ENTIRE week, I report on Monday being the best possible productive version of myself or else it will start affecting my work. I can't grasp when in the world we decided that Microsoft Office rules. Right from the Roman Empire to Times New Roman we've come a full depressing circle. As I slog to my desk so that I can open the laptop and start the slavery I spot you already at your desk. Guess you are getting autos on time now. You are glued to the display of your laptop. 

I settle down at my desk which is a meticulously planned 8 step routine so that everything I might need during the 8 hours onslaught is at an arm's reach. The daily huddle is the newest addition to the list of things that I find completely useless in this organization. It takes place at exactly 10 am which means I have to be ready with my yesterday's and today's to-do-list which I know will be ignored blatantly and an ad-hoc work which doesn't even exist presently will be piled on. And the day will continue as it usually does. 

But it also means that I have precisely 54 mins left to see if you missed me. The thing is, you might have but quoting you, "if you don't communicate, how am I ever going to know?" Why is it so important that you missed me? Well. The geniously stupid that I am I still need validation for our friendship. I have had enough destroyed equations that have left me void of even a single unit of trust. And you have done your absolute best to ensure that I don't even find it again. Not by actions, yet. Your words were enough. More importantly, your advice to not believe a single word that comes out of anyone's mouth other that yourself. Especially when it concerns emotional matters. 

By the time I pyscho-analyze the situation in my head and we only have 23 mins left now. I give up on the hope that you'd notice me by yourself as you seem to be laser focused on your screen. I get up from my seat with my reusable plastic bottle that I often leave back in the office in hand and move towards the canteen. All the while making sure that I don't turn my head in your direction even for a second. I get to the canteen successfully and let out of a sigh of relief. I don't want to seem too eager to talk to you. I don't want to seem like the one with attachment issues. I walk back to my seat in the anticipation that you might look up. Till I reach my row, I notice your face. For the first time I can't make out what is going through that devil brain of yours. Usually you are an open book to me. Or so I would like to believe. But not today. Something's changed. Your eyes reflect a shade of excitement I have rarely seen before. But your eyebrows are twitched as usual when all of the world is trying to irritate you and challenge your patience. That's mundane. 

Not taking the turn to my row I let go of my previous inhibitions and make it to your desk, taking a sip from my bottle before settling it down next to your laptop with a slight thud. This finally makes you aware of my existence. You are shocked. Almost frightened. Startled enough to not find the right words to greet me. 

"You.. you.. are back? Already?" you said.

"Umm.. I was supposed to be back today. Right?" I replied.

"Of course. It must have slipped my mind. You know how sir is on Mondays right?" you blurted out.

While you try to put on the weakest defense I have ever seen since Nuremberg, you are swift in locking your laptop which is highly unusual and you are out of your seat now. The same one I thought you are going to be buried in till death. I am unable to process what exactly is going on but it has a hint of familiarity. People get tensed before the doom. 

"Canteen?" that's all you manage to say.

"After you." I replied as usual. 

You are quite till we make it to the corner sofa. Over the 3 months that we've spent in this particular office I didn't quite understand how this became a spot for confrontations, secrets, gossip and news. I still didn't quite know that the last one was true. 

"I got to tell you something. I haven't told anyone yet. I just found out." 

You said as we settled in the sofa. My heart sank. I knew what was coming. I could now decode the excitement that I saw earlier. It all makes sense now. Why you didn't move from you seat all morning. The radio silent WhatsApp chat since Wednesday. All of it. But I put on a smile, nevertheless.

"You got into Crompton?" I asked fully aware of the answer and how it is going to make me feel.

"Yes! How did you know?" You shout in the lowest possible pitch.

"It shows. You are practically glowing" I snicker and pat you on your back. 

I replace the smirk with the most genuine smile that I can muster in the moment and I dare to ask you. 

"So, leaving us finally?" I let the words out and now they are true. It's not a figment of my imagination anymore.

"We'll see. How was home?" 

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© Aditi Tiwari 2024