Five Point Someone - Chetan Bhagat

Two States - The story of my life was the first book I ever read in my life. It was interesting I have to say. But Five Point Someone was something else. I didn't know why did it grab my attention in that boring library period when CHETAN BHAGAT written in bold grabbed my attention. There were two of them. Five Point Someone and Two States. I gave Two States to Sakshi and kept Five Point Someone for myself. I turned the book and read what it had on behind. It was not that interesting. I had to keep on debating with my friend that 3 Idiots was not completely based on it but had to settle for "Haan thodi-bohot hai." Then I began reading it and surprisingly enough it was better than what was written on the back of it.



Read the next post for the rest. 

Cooking.. and eating of course!

It was just another boring day of the never ending holidays you get once you face X. A relief and much needed break without the homework! But after some initial days of enjoyment you don't really have much to look forward to. And for me I follow a routine everyday. I'd wake up late and before my mind can register its already lunch time and the slow bore afternoon kicks off. Thanks to the new net connection I just think for a second or two and download a flick and watch it till its time that the outdoors are cool enough to road around in the colony. Coming back to dinner and going out again for badminton followed until the great Indian Premier League kept everyone glued to their flats. 

Well nothing is forever and thus this schedule bored me enough to make some changes. Rather than watching silly movies or sleeping today when I woke up I came straight to YouTube to look at some recipes while my stomach made abrupt noises declaring the hunger pang for breakfast. I am not a breakfast kind of person but I am human and I am seldom hungry. Well I've always enjoyed eating but cooking the food you eat is a different kind of joy you get. It always irked me to stand for hours in the kitchen as it was no inborn talent. But then spending some time in the kitchen when mumma would ask to turn off the flame after X whistles or just stirring the pan so as to it does not stick and burn made my dislike for cooking go away. 

Then came the turning point, as in every story has, I started watching then Fox Traveler and now Fox Life. Watching the chefs cooking with utmost joy and curiosity, I started assisting my mom in the cooking. Chopping veggies was something that I didn't acclaim as my cup of tea back then. Because surely it wasn't. And even now I can't complete a dish without getting some cuts. But you know the satisfaction you get after cooking a dish perfectly it awesome. And nothing till date compares to that. 

Now its a everyday routine to try something new because I get bored easily. To get your first cake right , to get your first bread right, your pasta or any curry and rice right really feels good. It was my first bread today and I kinda nailed it. It feels great to cook and eat and also get to listen to compliments for that. Cooking was indeed heredity passed on from mumma and papa both. I think it runs in the family. And on any random Saturday when papa is home and we cook I bet its better than roaming in a mall or at any other place. I love cooking now and it came at a leisurely pace as a surprise.

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© Aditi Tiwari 2016. Dark Blue Anecdotes™ 

 

Source : health-temple.com 

Why didn't you try harder ?

About 8,00,000 people commit suicide worldwide every year, of these 1,35,000 (17%) are residents of India, a nation with 17.5% of world population. Between 1987 to 2007, the suicide rate increased from 7.9 to 10.3 per 1,00,000, with higher suicide rates in southern and eastern states of India.  SAVE™ recorded with the US Government that Suicide is the the 10th major cause of deaths in the US surpassing homicide which ranks 17th. There is something wrong happening in the world or its just human behavior to say "NO, I Quit." to difficulties.

  

The following charts analyze a few aspects of suicides :

Source : http://scroll.in/article/694364/four-charts-show-why-indias-youth-suicide-rate-is-among-the-worlds-highest

As the earlier data states women have a higher suicidal tendency then men. And as per the multi-national sites' data females experience depression,  have suicidal thoughts and attempt suicides twice as much as men do. There is one death by suicide in the world every 40 seconds. Depression is the leading cause of disability worldwide. Suicide is the 3^rd leading cause of death in the world for those aged 15-44 years. 

 In the light of recent events Pratyusha Banerjee and Jia Khan are the two beautiful souls we lost to Suicide. But these are only the known names. What about the unknowns?

All of the above are just some mathematical facts aligned statistically. But what is the real reason as to why people commit suicide. The utter feeling of helplessness and the thought that "I am not liked by anyone" or "no one wants me in this world" has often led to the final solution of suicide. And as to my sixteen years on this planet, suicide is never an impulsive decision. Its the result of long hours of staring at the ceiling thinking nothing or maybe over thinking everything. If you are busy 24*7, thoughts like these would never cross your mind. But if you had had a rough experience with life and you keep on analyzing it again and again. Replaying it like a record in your mind. You just click Repeat again and again. Even till this point its bearable but when you start blaming yourself for every small thing happening around you after that experience the problem starts brewing in the caldron of your depressed state of mind. Learn to let go is something the human brain does not learn in a day. My neighbor came to my house but something about her was not the same. And when I asked her reason it left me rooted at my spot. Her sister-in-law's sister committed suicide on 1st April, 2016. Does that date ring a bell, other than the April fool? The same day Pratyusha Banerjee committed suicide. She was a gynecologist and her husband is an anesthesiologist. They recently inaugurated a hospital together. They have two children. A boy in F.Y.M.B.B.S and a lad who recently finished with his Tenth boards and went to Kota for IIT-JEE preparations. What more can one ask for? In the causes above you see some like poverty, unemployment, bankruptcy, illness and many more. She had none. All she did was to over think about the future of her kids. The elder one wasn't scoring the ace marks and that some how worried her about the upcoming of her hospital. On the doom's day, she wasn't naturally behaving normal and thus her husband asked her to take the day off but she insisted on continuing for the last operation. She did that successfully, congratulated the parents and went straight to home. She wrote a long descriptive letter before committing the crime. She neither wanted her kids to know nor her parents. She thought that they won't be able to take the sudden blow but what I kept on shouting on the inside while listening in rapt silence on the outside was if you had done a detailed and analytical study of the reactions and also stated all of it why in the first place did you commit suicide? If you cared so much then why didn't you try harder to combat the issues? And that's what I think every time when I read or hear a case of suicide. There are worst times and there will be even harder circumstances to face, if you lurch on the first step and decide to Quit at that very moment how are you going to ever reach the top? No battle was ever won without shredding the blood of others and sacrificing some of your own army. Dismay, defeat and destruction are parts of every ones life. If Virat Kohli is the best cricketer now doesn't mean he didn't ever get out on a golden duck. He had had his share of grief when he had to play on the day his father died. Smriti Irani, Minister of Human Resource Development, could have Quit the moment people worth nothing blamed her for her education and for every thing she did right. But she decided that if life is going to offer her lemon, she is going to make not only lemonade but also lemon tart, Popsicle, cake, candy and every other thing from them and she proved it when she cried at the parliament fighting for her dignity, respect and declaring her might to hold the post. She is just a well known instance of   fighting is better than quitting. For when you quit, the people you leave behind have to suffer your loss everyday for the rest of their lives. Don't be selfish, if you can't live for yourself live for others who care for you. The daughter you are, the sister you are and for the day when the mother you will be. Fight for your place, and have some self respect because nothing is ever gained from "Log kya kahenge?" but you walk a bit to the road of destination by exclaiming "Mujhe farak nahi padhta!" 

Facts by www.save.org 

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       © Aditi Tiwari 2016. All Rights Reserved. 

Dark Blue Anecdotes™ 

 

Friendship IV

How many friendships are to be discussed on the blog? Well I don't know. This is a detour to the first post. Its not always easy to live up to expectations. And the worst part is when you expected and they weren't there. When you needed, they weren't there. And finally when you choose someone else over them they have a problem and I am like what? 

Well friendship with her was never easy. Throw back to 2014, those were the most happening 10-15 days of my life. And she was a vital part of them. Met on the little discussion about Children's Day (2014) the dooms day of my life. And then when Aditi Tiwari gets attached , she falls deep. And of course I loved spending time with her but that wasn't quite the same from her side. As an Ambanian forever, she complained. Like what? 

Smashing of door right on her face to ignoring her while passing by in that narrow corridor in front of the staff room on the second floor followed suit. And that is typical Aditi Tiwari behavior after a conflict or argument.   But whom was I kidding? 

The post Odd on the blog is about her because in the shelter of all the misunderstandings I could not just say that I didn't miss her. Like hell I did. Damn, I am way too egoistic. And thus I put on a straight face and arrogant behavior.  Like seriously I should put some sense in my thinking before speaking shit or zip up for the entire life left with me, speaking nonsense has become a great habit. And did I regret that, for sure! Because it takes courage to forgive someone for that kind of nonsense. And of course she did. 

Friendship with her is not that easy. Because usually I adore the qualities of my friends, but she is different and so is our friendship.As for sure she can't tolerate me. And that goes for all the people who know me. And frankly speaking I can never get enough of her.  Because when we are alone that happens once in a year  we are too cute like really I cherish that once in a lifetime moment when I can be myself in front of her leaving behind the past. But when joined by company, I maintain the straight face again. 

I wish I could really ( Ctrl+Z ) what all I did in 2014 and she will definitely be my favorite mistake. I know I have spoken a lot of bullshit that I can't take back. And I know she might be holding it too but that's the best thing about her.. she never brings that back to counter an argument and when we have an argument the decibel level rises bad. But that is for like two minutes then back to normal.

To console someone when they are at their worst a day before the most awaited day of your entire school life, takes courage too and quoting Richard Castle : "You are the most remarkable, maddening, challenging, frustrating person I have ever met. And I love you." Guess what, I mean it to you. 

She has really seen the best and worst of me and I don't even know her middle name. Okay that was lame. But really she knows me very well and I just discover a new trait and interest of her every time I speak to her. And than too is very rare because she is always busy. 

I know and like the bottom line of the series of these posts I mean nothing to her but for me she is damn special.

To the most cherish-able mistake of my life, RD

Aditi Tiwari.

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© Aditi Tiwari 2016. DBA™

       

Already missing X

Its been almost a month to leaving that habit of getting up in the rush and going to school. Often with the tension of not completing the Maths H.W. . That cold breeze in the morning and headphones stuffed in the ears but do I even remember which song was I listening to ? No. Because I was too preoccupied with n- number of things running in my mind. About the pending submissions, the allotted Formative Assessments and finally facing the school I have been facing for 12 years now. I don't remember holding onto anything as I have held on to Jamnaben Hirachand Ambani School, Lodhivali. Since J.r.K.G to 10th . 

People say school is your second home, well, my only home is my school JHAS and for sure I am a proud Ambanian and I will always be. If the credit of what I am today, good, bad or ugly , goes to my school. And definitely I am able to write this post because only from the start my teachers have pushed me to do my level best. And today , during boards, sitting at home and having nothing to do apart studies I miss my school.

Sometimes the tension is better than the relaxation. I really miss how tensed I use  to get to go to school. Everyday. Because each day is different and I can't predict how I am going to behave and how far will it ruin my image. Again. This was the start of my 10th (B) Session 2015-16. Completing holiday homework has always been a really torturous task for me because I never actually liked fulfilling formalities. And back then I took as a burden. But I was at par with it before the session began after the Summer Holidays. 

Tenth B. My class and batch. Well its been 12 years seeing some familiar faces everyday and yet I feel I don't know anyone out there. I really I am weak in understanding people. I misunderstand some and expect a lot from others. But really out of all the people I have been close to I don't even till date have answers to some unanswered question that still haunt me on a sleepless night. But then I do have some friends that I can understand. And that friendship has really been trough a lot of ups and downs but proudly the only time we have fought in X (B) was when the person shouted at me , " Why do you care, so much, when you know you are going to be hurt?" But what hurt me was how much that person broke to let those words out. I just wanted to be there for the person so that the person doesn't deal with all the things alone, as I had to. And then like the person said the series of fights never ended and I was not in any condition to say anything more after I got the statement "You have no right to speak between our friendship!" Sadly, that was the I cried in my 10th and till date I am. Because I lost a very sacred bond and amusingly this tie it wasn't my fault!

Well talking about tenth and not mentioning about the Formative Assessments would be quite inappropriate. Oh my God! So many of them. But they won't be there anymore. Huh! I loved impromptu speeches because I hardly kept track of the dates allotted beforehand for the Formative Assessments.  I remember last moment studies for the pen and paper test. I miss that stupid smile on some of the faces of my batch mates whenever I was giving any presentation. I remember the plays and most of all I remember the Maths Presentations. Because its this thing that me and another guy we are the only ones who ask doubts. Now why is that so remarkable and worth mentioning is we didn't ask doubts casually. But like it was a competition of who would ask how many doubts and like constant counter striking we would fire one after one doubts and thanks to the faculty we have at JHAS they never actually got annoyed.  And one more best academics related memory would be when everyone including my teachers tagged me as "Oswal-wali-bai" I found it hilarious as I used to carry Oswal Sample Question Papers for Science, Maths and Social Science everyday in my bag. 

Annual Day 2015-16 was exceptional like every Annual Day I have had since 2004. Annual Day is that time of the year when I get close to teachers, far from classmates, and chose wrong people to be with. Regrets, not exactly. Because dancing with my friends is like having dutch cake with sizzling chocolate brownie. Dance and friends and of course foods are one of those things I don't trade for anything. At all. And then of course, being able to take part in the dance of my favorite teacher was a chilled ice cube in the coke. All along helping to make the Back Drop and simultaneously typing for the School Magazine are some of the things I won't ever forget. The experience wasn't the most pleasant one for sure but then asking for more would be downright selfishness. 

How can I forget mentioning the Manali Trip and Adlabs Imagica picnic. I love this things about my friend circle. When we go, we go together or we don't go at all. And those were some days that would be with me till the last breathe because when you are almost  1966.1 km away from your home, in a place prone to land slides during the time when a great earthquake caused havoc in Nepal. We need trust. And fun for a person so pessimistic as I am, God, my friends bare with a lot of apathetic and rude behavior at times and they need to handle me because when not in school premises I am even more worst. Kudos! To my whole group and the fun we had in the Chandigarh - Manali Trip.

 

Today, as of 6th March 2016, I am 2 days away from writing my second board paper for the year. These are some things I shared because studying and competing for ranks is something I don't remember when I look back at eh 12 years. Make each day count. Not all memories are supposed to be golden. But the fights, tiffs, splits and arguments seem worth less now when I have only 4 official days left with some of the people I really can't let go of. Its been a long post but I am proud that it didn't finish in my draft folder. 

To the best 46 of X B 2015-16

Aditi Tiwari

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© Aditi Tiwari 2016. Dark Blue Anecdotes™

Lost and hurt.

 Anger overpowers the actual purpose, arguments presented in an angry state of mind are the ones I regret the most.

- Aditi Tiwari.

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These are the two words I often use to describe my life. Lost and hurt. Lost because we all need someone to share our thoughts to. Someone in person. And that one person I am looking for 16 years now. Not the thoughts that I post here. The thoughts that I speak out loud. Shout and wail about in loneliness. And those true words are lost because they aren't ever heard. I am close to many people and most to my brother but yet I can't tell anyone of them of those shouts and cries I let out in the extreme vulnerability of anger. But what is the cause of that anger? Hurt. So much of regrets and guilt that once it all gets the power of voice and I shout at myself for all the wrong decisions I took. Anger is one of those things that are better controlled or else they lead to destruction. I am not exactly a short tempered person. Its hard to really offend me. When with friends, I hardly get offended by abuses, mockery, sarcasm and shitload of taunts. But I allow no one, to speak about the decisions I have made in life. I know that I have made worst, but that is my life. My punishment. I don't like interference in my personal life without my permission. And sometimes even the permitted ones have to bear with the frustration and rudeness of my behavior when I get angry. I don't get angry uselessly. I talk in a loud pitch for most of the times but when I am angry.. the decibel changes. And it changes big. There was this thing I was over obsessed with until last year. Banging hand on the desk. My friends even tagged me as the "Punching wall" on my birthday card. They know me well I guess. Time is just a number, if you decided to discover the soul is the destination. And seriously we are soulmates. Sakshi and Sanskruti, yeah I am talking about you guys. I know we will never be Best Friends Forever. Again. Because that is a thing meant for only once. And we surely did have it once. I think I lost is somewhere in Ninth. (2014-15) But you know what, out of all the things I lost two years back, I miss you both the most. It hurts me to ignore you guys. Darn, I am sorry for missing the b'day. But I am hurt. Because sadly you people didn't even notice the absence. While all I can think about making everything like it once was we have this huge gap of 2 years of formality between us. One and a half maybe. I know I haven't done great things. I am the one responsible for this. All I wanted was you people to come and tell me that it hurt you. Always forgiving me for the mistakes is supporting me to take you for granted. I have always done that. And one fine day when I realize I lost it, I am left with nothing but guilt. I know I have spoken ton of useless things. I know I have let people in our friendship. I know I have trusted people when you warned me. I know I committed mistakes but you forgave me. I know I am a bad soul and all along you made me feel good. I am sorry. That's all.

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© Aditi Tiwari 2016 Dark Blue Anecdotes™    

Friendship III

We have heard of long distance relationships, right? And we don't think they hold. Why? I don't know. I am sixteen and I don't believe in anything that I haven't gone trough yet.  But I do have many long distance friendships. Like over international boundaries too. And with someone 90 kms away, well its complicated! I do want to trust her but then I don't trust myself how can I trust someone else. But she is so much more than a friend but not exactly family. We quarrel like siblings and care like sisters but we aren't sisters. She is just a friend I met when I was 4. In Jr. KG. And its been 12 years that I know her. But it was only when she went 90 kms away that I realized what she meant to me. I never would be able to tell her how much she matters to me because then we both would have expectations and that is something at least I can't live up to. We are almost inseparable. We talk daily for hours. For me, when I am talking to her, she is the only person I care about. And when she is studying she is the only one I think about. She is that one person, without whom, I can't imagine my life anymore. Yeah, we plan future like she'd be in France, I'd be in Germany and then we would roam the whole world in holidays.

I know her ambitions, she knows my passions,

I know her past, she predicts my future,

I know what she likes, she knows my hatred,

I know she cares, she knows I love,

I know she will always be there for me , she knows I won't leave her ever.

Who is she?? Well keeping guessing. 

 © Aditi Tiwari 2016 Dark Blue Anecdotes™