"Everything is something I crave for, Something I used to have and Something sadly I know I'll never have again."

You know I've always got my friends and readers asking me to post something about love but I never could bring my self to do it. For me, or actually for everyone around there whose in love or been in love sometime or the other does not want everyone around them to know about their love life. at least, that's what I think but some people are really too public about their relationship and I don't really understand those people. You know its always confined to that small bunch of best friends we have. Who we don't even need to tell that we are in love is what everyone prefers. But today I am here to just share with you my encounter with the four letter word and a zillion of feelings called "love". Firstly, I was so frantic to write this post that I logged in my long ago deactivated face book profile and read all my messages to the same guy I feel in love with . It took me some time realize such as ass I was. We were really too good to be true. But leaving that aside.  Recently I discovered that my best friends are in a relationship. I really thought myself blessed to come to know after so long and telling two people before me. Sarcasm. Incase you didn't notice. Like I said, I already knew they were but its a whole new level of happiness when they open up to me.  I was so happy for them and then it took me back to the time where I for the first time actually fell in love. It was guy in my school that I fell for. We were good friends but before I know it I was head over heels in love with him. I think somewhere between late night conversations and the morning wishes I fell in love with him and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Was is too inappropriate. He is the still the best thing that happened to me. But I feared that wasn't quite the same from his side. I knew him well to know at least that bit of what he thinks. And someday I had to confess my feelings for him so why wait when I have today. So I confessed to him what I felt for him. I was over the move to realize that he felt the same way. And from then to two months, at least from I got on face book, we were really a very happy couple. But then I ruined  it all. I trusted a person I should not have and shared everything about my relationship with her. The word her reveals to much to be posted but I don't think she reads my blog. And then between misunderstandings and miscommunication I lost him. For once had he talked to me and I bet it would have been a lot more different from what it is now. But it think it was justified on his part. I didn't quite deserve even at the least a justification after what I did. As of today, 18th October 2015, I talk to him. its very casual and what just not enough. I am still madly in  love with him. But I am quite sure this time that its not the same from his side. Actually, I too think he has fallen for someone else. Maybe its just overthinking but yeah, I feel so. But that'd be okay as that only help me to move one.
© Aditi Tiwari 2015. Dark Blue Anecdotes. All rights reserved.


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