I Miss You

30th July 2017
Sunday

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Its been 4 years. And yet today on a Sunday night when I was watching Castle (TV Series) binge on YouTube the first thing on my mind was you.

You taught me, more about myself, than I thought there was to learn. 
If it wasn't for you I would have never even tried to mend the faults in my personality that were the main causes of us spending each of the passing day apart but after four years of all of that I miss you. I miss that the only reason I used to go to bed was so that when I wake up I could call you and wish you good morning. I miss the nights where we wold talk every possible shit. I miss having someone for whom I didn't have to change settings under the Privacy head. I miss having a friend who didn't judge me no matter what.

I miss you. And each day that I have to look you in the eyes and pretend that I don't give a damn about you is so hard that to balance that amount of rudeness during the day I have spend tears repenting it at the night. 

You easily say that its you who is careless and worthless of my friendship but its very hard to see you behave so politely with everyone but me. Its almost trashing to not even bother about my last birthday with you but yet seeing you so excited almost two weeks before a mutual friend's birthday.

But you know what, I know you aren't going to read this and nothing I say even bothers you enough that you give it a millisecond thought but I had, I have and I will always care for you no matter what. Maybe I ain't deserving of your friendship but I can live with the guilt that I could never be a good and trustworthy friends to you but I can't live with the fact that you can't  even fake that you care for me. So as of today, I officially rid myself off your life. 

Aditi Tiwari

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© Aditi Tiwari 2017. All Rights Reserved. DBA™ 

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